"I should like to save the Shire, if I could - though there have been times when I thought the inhabitants too stupid and dull for words, and have felt that an earthquake or an invasion of dragons might be good for them. But I don't feel like that now. I feel that as long as the Shire lies behind, safe and comfortable, I shall find wandering more bearable: I shall know that somewhere there is a firm foothold, even if my feet cannot stand there again."
“…How unfortunate for you, Uncle. Better had your mouth been shut.”
”.. I have done nothing to be ashamed of. I will not allow my own nephew to blackmail me- not when I can tell them about the time you and your cousins tried to steal that barrel of ale, and instead busted it on the road back to Bag End. Wasting good ale…”
“Or I could tell them about the time you drunkenly sang dwarven songs outside our home, frightening the passing neighbors and having the poor Gaffer come over to see if you had truly gone ‘mad’. Or maybe the time that you attempted to braid my hair as if I were a dwarf then vomited on your favorite trousers? Shall I continue?”
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